“Your Profile Brought a Smile To My Face!”

“Your Profile Brought a Smile To My Face!” Yes. This is one of the many somewhat ridiculous ‘Icebreakers’ you have the option of sending to your matches on eHarmony.com. This month I decided to try out eHarmony and have been dabbling with some other online dating sites – ChristianCafe.com and Match.com. For a few reasons: 1) I’d like a relationship and 2) I feel that the dating opportunities around me are very, very slim. It has been completely hysterical and I’ve really learned a lot! I can’t say that I’ve met my true love, but there’s no harm in trying something outside the box.

I have noticed a few things though…one is that there is an overwhelming sense of shame for even using an online dating site. One guys profile was titled “Willing to lie about how we met.” Really?? Why do we care so much? What are we afraid of? I’ve discovered that people put so much clout on whether or not one is able to find a mate. The inability to find a mate amounts to shame, feelings of inadequacy, lack of self-worth, loneliness, fear of rejection, and desperation. These are all LIES. Not only that, but even the desire for true love leaves people feeling sheepish and embarrassed (I should know, I used to be one of those people)! I think so much of finding a lasting relationship comes from PRAYER and owning your singleness and advertising it! If no one knows you’re single and ready to mingle, if you never meet any new men or women, how are you going to get in a relationship? God is completely sovereign over dating and love, but he doesn’t just wave his magic wand and plop the man of your dreams at your doorstep. I mean, he *could* do that…but is that how he generally works? I think more often than not he works in much less miraculous ways. So, I’m really over keeping singleness and desire for love a secret and online dating is no more shameful than meeting a guy at church and exchanging names. And…you should adopt that frame of mind too!

Like I said, some of my interactions with guys have been pretty hysterical. On ChristianCafe it displays your status as online or offline. You also have the option of sending the object of your affections a ‘wink’ that looks like this:

“Your profile caught my eye and made me want to wink at you ;-) I'd love to start a conversation!Hope to hear from you…”

First of all, why is that text so awkward…it made me want to wink at you? Who says that? Second, I’ve decided that most ChristianCafe members (including myself) practice what I now call The Wink and Run. So you find a person that you like, you wink at them, and then you get offline asap because you’re embarrassed that you winked and afraid of what the person is going to think of you. You can always tell because one second they’re on, and the next they’re gone and there’s a new wink in your inbox.

Another thing I find hysterical/somewhat annoying is that these dating sites are meant to advertise a person’s very best, most unique and amazing qualities – but if any real relationship comes to fruition from these sites…you’re going to be faced with not only the best but the worst of a person. Can we have a portion of the profile dedicated to expounding your worst vices, bad habits, and sinful tendencies?? Haha, ok…I can’t see that working out well and that sort of dirt is shared as trust is built, but you get where I’m going. I want an accurate portrayal...not an overly optimistic hyperbole.

My eHarmony membership expires in March, ChristianCafe expires tomorrow (I only did the free 10 day trial), and I never actually subscribed to Match.com (I just filled out the profile and now can be winked at and see other profiles…so far no one has been so interesting as to entice me to subscribe, although someone sent me a message that I can’t read…if only the ability to read it didn’t cost $34.99). My online dating spree will be coming to a close, but I’ve collected a slew if great stories, laughs, and awkward winks. I’ve also learned that there really are attractive, intelligent, God-fearing men who are looking for Mrs. Right. At least they exist.

I’ve read a few articles about online dating and some have been helpful and insightful, but nothing tops the complete hilarity of this one.